My "Map of the Articles" has grown too long to edit. It crashes my internet browser, so I've had to break up the list into two parts: before and after Medium.
Here are the older articles, the ones I wrote before I switched to writing on Medium.
Stultified by Reason: the Vision of Heartless Nature
Reason, Faith, and the Authentic Self
The Absurdity of Faith and Reason
Philosophy in the Wasteland
Enlightenment and Suicide
Dark Mysticism: Tragic Heroism and Fear of the Undead God
Reason, Faith, and the Authentic Self
The Absurdity of Faith and Reason
Philosophy in the Wasteland
Enlightenment and Suicide
Dark Mysticism: Tragic Heroism and Fear of the Undead God
Deflating Traditionalism: Why Existentialism beats Spirituality
Opposing Nature: Life's Meaning in the Monstrous Universe
Posthuman Religion from the End of Art
The Art of Narrating Ourselves into Being
Politics Made Simple
Clash of Worldviews
Necronomicon
Eldritch Revelations: The Irony of God and Cosmos
Eldritch Revelations: The Full Anthropocentricity of Religions
Eldritch Revelations: Restoring God through Deified Humanity
Eldritch Revelations: The Mystery of Consciousness and the Fear of Death
Eldritch Revelations: Our Imminent Doom
Eldritch Revelations: Why the Truth is Never Personal
Clash of Worldviews: Ego and Enlightenment
Scripture from the Future: Who Represents Humanity?
Eldritch Revelations: The Irony of God and Cosmos
Eldritch Revelations: The Full Anthropocentricity of Religions
Eldritch Revelations: Restoring God through Deified Humanity
Eldritch Revelations: The Mystery of Consciousness and the Fear of Death
Eldritch Revelations: Our Imminent Doom
Eldritch Revelations: Why the Truth is Never Personal
Clash of Worldviews: Ego and Enlightenment
Scripture from the Future: Who Represents Humanity?
Philosophy of Religion
The Psychedelic Basis of Theism
Entheogen: the Source, Substance, and Bane of Religions
Awake while Sleeping: DMT and Paradoxical Consciousness
Untangling Myths and Delusions
Does God Write Books?
Prayer, Truth, and the Re-enchantment of Nature
Defining God into Existence: The Presumptuous Ontological Argument
Clash of Worldviews: The Moral Argument for God
Life of Pi’s Argument for Theism
A Critique of Presuppositional Apologetics
Prayer, Truth, and the Re-enchantment of Nature
Defining God into Existence: The Presumptuous Ontological Argument
Clash of Worldviews: The Moral Argument for God
Life of Pi’s Argument for Theism
A Critique of Presuppositional Apologetics
Against the Theist’s Nightmare of Hell
The Social Reality of Heaven and Hell
The Paradox of Secular Holiness
The Social Reality of Heaven and Hell
The Paradox of Secular Holiness
The Comedy of Theism
The Man-made Gods of Monotheism
The Gods are our Imaginary Friends
The Fraud of Theology
The Sham of Philosophical Theism
Theistic Proofs in an Echo Chamber
Is Theism or Atheism a Delusion?
Jordan Peterson's Just-So Story of Religion
Clash of Worldviews: God and the Devil
The Man-made Gods of Monotheism
The Gods are our Imaginary Friends
The Fraud of Theology
The Sham of Philosophical Theism
Theistic Proofs in an Echo Chamber
Is Theism or Atheism a Delusion?
Jordan Peterson's Just-So Story of Religion
Christianity
Christian Crudities: An Aesthetic Condemnation of Christian Myths
The Savior and his Diabolical Master
Christianity and the Axial Age
The Meaning of Christianity
Clash of Worldviews: Eastern and Western Christianity
The Unique "Strengths" of Christianity
Scientology, Christianity, and the Persistence of Cults
New Atheism and Edward Feser's Thomistic Gambit
William Lane Craig's Christian Philosophy: A Tale of Exploitation and Betrayal
The Helpful Strangeness of Religious Fundamentalism
Why Evangelical Christians shouldn't Think too much
Second Debate with a "Thinking Christian"
The Bitter End of "Christian Thinking"
Is Jesus Lord or Legend?
Seeing through the Matrix of Christian Discourse
American Atheism and the Lie of Conservative Christianity
Capitalism and Conservative Christianity: The Biblical Roots of the Fraud
Love or Disgust? A Christian debates a Misanthrope
Dennis Prager's Jewish "Wisdom"
Islam and the Secret of Monotheism
Clash of Worldviews: Islamist Terrorism Edition
The Art of New Age Myths
The False Synthesis of Hinduism
Buddhism and Existential Angst
Nihilism, Cosmicism, and Nishitani's Buddhism
Daoism, Nature's Tragedy, and the Existential Hero
The Horror of Life's Meaning: From Eastern and Western Religions to Liberal Humanism
The Savior and his Diabolical Master
Christianity and the Axial Age
The Meaning of Christianity
Clash of Worldviews: Eastern and Western Christianity
The Unique "Strengths" of Christianity
Scientology, Christianity, and the Persistence of Cults
New Atheism and Edward Feser's Thomistic Gambit
William Lane Craig's Christian Philosophy: A Tale of Exploitation and Betrayal
The Helpful Strangeness of Religious Fundamentalism
Why Evangelical Christians shouldn't Think too much
Second Debate with a "Thinking Christian"
The Bitter End of "Christian Thinking"
Is Jesus Lord or Legend?
Seeing through the Matrix of Christian Discourse
American Atheism and the Lie of Conservative Christianity
Capitalism and Conservative Christianity: The Biblical Roots of the Fraud
Love or Disgust? A Christian debates a Misanthrope
Other Religions
Islam and the Secret of Monotheism
Clash of Worldviews: Islamist Terrorism Edition
The Art of New Age Myths
The False Synthesis of Hinduism
Buddhism and Existential Angst
Nihilism, Cosmicism, and Nishitani's Buddhism
Daoism, Nature's Tragedy, and the Existential Hero
The Horror of Life's Meaning: From Eastern and Western Religions to Liberal Humanism
Atheism
Existentialism
Nietzsche and Secular Liberalism
Existentialism and the Ideal Religion
How to Fathom the Nature of Truth
Life as a Dream: The Secular Myth of Objective Truth
Reason, Attitude, and Ultimate Reality
The Incoherence of Naturalism
Wisdom, Horror, and the Folly of Secular Humanism
What is Enlightenment for?
Humble Cognition: Dread and Awe from Objectivity
Kierkegaard and the True Self's Alienation
Nietzsche: Godless Prophet
Cosmicism and Heideggerian Authenticity
Dark Naturalism and Sartrean Freedom
Karl Jaspers and the Horror of our Cognitive Limits
Cosmicism
God and Science: The Ironic Theophany
Causality: The Unhidden Face of God
Is Nature Beautiful or Monstrous?
Can we Transcend the World's Monstrousness?
Objectivity and the Inhuman
Horror for the Codes of Creation
Causality: The Unhidden Face of God
Is Nature Beautiful or Monstrous?
Can we Transcend the World's Monstrousness?
Objectivity and the Inhuman
Horror for the Codes of Creation
Cosmicist Epistemology
Pragmatism and Pantheism: A Match made in Nature
Clash of Worldviews: Is Philosophy a Boon or a Con?
Why is there Something rather than Nothing?
Is there Something rather than Nothing?
Pragmatism and Pantheism: A Match made in Nature
Clash of Worldviews: Is Philosophy a Boon or a Con?
Why is there Something rather than Nothing?
Is there Something rather than Nothing?
Is the Devil a Hero?
The Satanic Grandeur of Modernity
Kazantzakis and The Saviours of God
Cosmicism, Tragedy, and Greek Mythology
Tragic Heroes in Fiction and Reality
Staring Into the Abyss: The Cultist, Silver Surfer, and Court Jester
Theologian John Haught on Nature's "Story"
Brassier's Nihilism and the Creation of Meaning
Nihilism and the Re-enchantment of Nature: A Reply to Scott Bakker
Stoicism and Cosmic Horror
The Irony of a Natural Afterlife
Cosmicism, Tragedy, and Greek Mythology
Tragic Heroes in Fiction and Reality
Staring Into the Abyss: The Cultist, Silver Surfer, and Court Jester
Theologian John Haught on Nature's "Story"
Brassier's Nihilism and the Creation of Meaning
Nihilism and the Re-enchantment of Nature: A Reply to Scott Bakker
Stoicism and Cosmic Horror
The Irony of a Natural Afterlife
Defending Existential Cosmicism
Scientism
Hyper-Rationality and the Two Cultures
Speculation, Scientism, and the Art of Wisdom
Scientism and the Artistic Side of Knowledge
Jerry Coyne on Scientism and Freewill
The Irrelevance of Scientific Determinism
Sam Harris’s Science of Morality
Answer to Sam Harris's Moral Landscape Challenge
Neil deGrasse Tyson's Scientism and the Scapegoating of Philosophy
Science and Technology
Scientism
Hyper-Rationality and the Two Cultures
Speculation, Scientism, and the Art of Wisdom
Scientism and the Artistic Side of Knowledge
Jerry Coyne on Scientism and Freewill
The Irrelevance of Scientific Determinism
Sam Harris’s Science of Morality
Answer to Sam Harris's Moral Landscape Challenge
Neil deGrasse Tyson's Scientism and the Scapegoating of Philosophy
Science and Technology
Existential Cosmicism and Technology
Artificiality: The Miracle Hiding in Plain Sight
The Miracle of Intelligent Selection of Events
Technoscience, Existentialism, and the Fact-Value Dichotomy
Humanization and Objectification: Why the World Doesn't Speak for Itself
The Roots of Instrumentalism and Mysticism in Science
Artificiality: The Miracle Hiding in Plain Sight
The Miracle of Intelligent Selection of Events
Technoscience, Existentialism, and the Fact-Value Dichotomy
Humanization and Objectification: Why the World Doesn't Speak for Itself
The Roots of Instrumentalism and Mysticism in Science
Technocracy, Buddhism, and Technoscientific Enlightenment
Mechanists and Transcendentalists, Kant we all just get along?
Dialogue with R. Scott Bakker
Naturalizing Normativity: A Reply to Scott Bakker
Personalizing Ourselves: Science, Liberalism, and the Reality of Illusions
Are Minds like Witches? The Catastrophe of Scientific Progress
How Horror begets Mind from Matter
Science, Nihilism, and the Artistry of Nature
Qualia, Artificiality, and Fractals: A Solution to the Hard Problem
Consciousness as the Seed of Artificiality
Character and Freewill
Clash of Worldviews: Free Will Edition
Yuval Harari on Freewill and Liberalism
Karl Friston's Theory of (Normal) Life
Liberalism and Conservatism
Liberals and Conservatives, Humanists and Animalists
The Hidden Divide Between Conservatives and Liberals
The Ironies of Political and Economic Freedoms
Clash of Worldviews: The War for Social Justice
Clash of Worldviews: Political Edition
Liberalism: From Scientism to Nihilism
Conservatism: Myth-Making for Oligarchy
Obama or Romney?
The Miracle of Modern Conservatism
Is there a Conservative sense of Fairness?
Julius Evola and the Sham of Conservative Philosophy
The Trojan Horse of George Will's Conservatism
Clash of Worldviews: The Paradox of Late-Modern Conservatism
Nerds and Predators in World Affairs: Deja vu from Childhood
Does Everyone Deserve Democracy?
Does Cognitive Science Undermine Democracy?
Gnostic Themes in American Politics
The American Spectacle
The Ogre-Clown of Trumpland
Is Donald Trump Mentally Ill?
Is Donald Trump Authentic?
Clash of Worldviews: The Meaning of Trumpism
Will Trump's Presidency be more Traumatic than 9/11?
Clash of Worldviews: Is Trump's Presidency Good for the World?
President Trump is our Punishment
The Failure of Democrats to Defeat Trump's Evil with Heroism
Obama or Romney?
The Miracle of Modern Conservatism
Is there a Conservative sense of Fairness?
Julius Evola and the Sham of Conservative Philosophy
The Trojan Horse of George Will's Conservatism
Clash of Worldviews: The Paradox of Late-Modern Conservatism
Nerds and Predators in World Affairs: Deja vu from Childhood
Does Everyone Deserve Democracy?
Does Cognitive Science Undermine Democracy?
Donald Trump
Gnostic Themes in American Politics
The American Spectacle
The Ogre-Clown of Trumpland
Is Donald Trump Mentally Ill?
Is Donald Trump Authentic?
Clash of Worldviews: The Meaning of Trumpism
Will Trump's Presidency be more Traumatic than 9/11?
Clash of Worldviews: Is Trump's Presidency Good for the World?
President Trump is our Punishment
The Failure of Democrats to Defeat Trump's Evil with Heroism
Oligarchy
Sociopathic Power Elites, Beta Herds, and Omega Watchers
Avatars of Monstrous Nature and Estranged Creators of Unnatural Worlds
Oligarchy: Nature’s Inhumanity to Humans
Avatars of Monstrous Nature and Estranged Creators of Unnatural Worlds
Oligarchy: Nature’s Inhumanity to Humans
Political Correctness: Spellbinding the Masses
Do We Really Want to be Free?
Centrism and the Search for a Worthy Social Order
The Downside of Impartial Journalism
Terrorism and the Metaphysical Innocence of Civilians
Parasitic Supervillains and the Housing Bubble
Deciphering the Myth of Competition
What's so Wrong with Vast Inequality?
The Incoherence of Meritocracy
Beasts in Suits: The Regressive Impact of Scientific Management Theory
Calling All Human Robots: Don't be Too Introspective at Work!
Why Bosses become Loathsome
Reason, Progress, and the Frankfurt School
History
Mythopoesis and the Consolation of Technology
Ancient and Modern Enlightenment: from Noosphere to Technosphere
Decadence, Enlightenment, and the Great Story
Modernity and Disenchantment
Against Steven Pinker's Case for Humanistic Progress
Taking Fictions Seriously: Why the Late-Modern Show Goes On
Psychopathic Gods and Civilized Slaves
Subhumans, Outsiders, and Glimpses of Posthumanity
Outer and Inner Gods: The Encroachment of the Inhuman
The Secret History of Enlightened Animals
Sexuality
Do We Really Want to be Free?
Centrism and the Search for a Worthy Social Order
The Downside of Impartial Journalism
Terrorism and the Metaphysical Innocence of Civilians
Parasitic Supervillains and the Housing Bubble
Deciphering the Myth of Competition
What's so Wrong with Vast Inequality?
The Incoherence of Meritocracy
Beasts in Suits: The Regressive Impact of Scientific Management Theory
Calling All Human Robots: Don't be Too Introspective at Work!
Why Bosses become Loathsome
Reason, Progress, and the Frankfurt School
History
Mythopoesis and the Consolation of Technology
Ancient and Modern Enlightenment: from Noosphere to Technosphere
Decadence, Enlightenment, and the Great Story
Modernity and Disenchantment
Against Steven Pinker's Case for Humanistic Progress
Taking Fictions Seriously: Why the Late-Modern Show Goes On
Psychopathic Gods and Civilized Slaves
Subhumans, Outsiders, and Glimpses of Posthumanity
Outer and Inner Gods: The Encroachment of the Inhuman
The Secret History of Enlightened Animals
Sexuality
Individualism and the Sexual Attraction of Opposites
Sex and the Authentic Self
Freedom and Equality: A Critique of Roosh V.'s Antifeminism
Incels and the Call for Omega Enlightenment
Sexism and the Horror of Sex
Sex and the Authentic Self
Freedom and Equality: A Critique of Roosh V.'s Antifeminism
Incels and the Call for Omega Enlightenment
Sexism and the Horror of Sex
Should we procreate to honour our ancestors?
Clash of Worldviews: Sex and Love Edition
Clash of Worldviews: The Sexual Harassment Epidemic
Sexual Bliss and the Anguish of Enlightenment
Clash of Worldviews: Sex and Love Edition
Clash of Worldviews: The Sexual Harassment Epidemic
Sexual Bliss and the Anguish of Enlightenment
The Paradox of Moral Obligations
Happiness is Unbecoming
Morality, Living Art, and the Undead Muse
Are All Real Values Aesthetic?
Life as Art: Nature's Strangeness and the Aesthetic Attitude
Why all we do is Art for Sages
Higher Morality and Satanic Rebellion against Nature
Gods, Heroes and the Self: Our Life in Stories
Happiness is Unbecoming
Morality, Living Art, and the Undead Muse
Are All Real Values Aesthetic?
Life as Art: Nature's Strangeness and the Aesthetic Attitude
Why all we do is Art for Sages
Higher Morality and Satanic Rebellion against Nature
Gods, Heroes and the Self: Our Life in Stories
Case Studies of Aesthetic Morality: Abortion and Gay Marriage
Atheistic Morality Despite Life’s Absurdity
The Nature of Sympathy
The Nature of Creativity
Authenticity and the Cost of Self-Creation
The Strangeness of Normality: Alan Moore on Art and Magic
Childhood Innocence and the Outsider's Humility
Sadism and the Horror of Liberty
The Problem of Evil and the Role of Omega Spirituality
Asceticism and the Existential Crisis
Bearing Witness to an Inhuman World
The Wistful Quest for Honour
The Brawl of Masculinities
Against Richard Carrier's Case for Natural Morality
Morality and the Enlightened Psychopath
Buddhists, Pessimists, and the End of Suffering
Atheistic Morality Despite Life’s Absurdity
The Nature of Sympathy
The Nature of Creativity
Authenticity and the Cost of Self-Creation
The Strangeness of Normality: Alan Moore on Art and Magic
Childhood Innocence and the Outsider's Humility
Sadism and the Horror of Liberty
The Problem of Evil and the Role of Omega Spirituality
Asceticism and the Existential Crisis
Bearing Witness to an Inhuman World
The Wistful Quest for Honour
The Brawl of Masculinities
Against Richard Carrier's Case for Natural Morality
Morality and the Enlightened Psychopath
Buddhists, Pessimists, and the End of Suffering
Pop Culture
Civilization requires Myths, and Myths are Absurd
Philosophy and Social Engineering
Comedy and Existential Cosmicism
Donald Trump vs The Comedians: The Farce's Existential Import
The Ironies of Modern Progress and Infantilization
Humanists, Technocrats, and a World of Babies
The Travesty of Self-Help Advice
Horror or Snark? The Millennial's Dilemma
Fame and the Comedy of False Gods
Donald Trump vs The Comedians: The Farce's Existential Import
The Ironies of Modern Progress and Infantilization
Humanists, Technocrats, and a World of Babies
The Travesty of Self-Help Advice
Horror or Snark? The Millennial's Dilemma
Fame and the Comedy of False Gods
Humankind as Life's Executioner: The Environmentalist's Nightmare
Chinese Materialism and Wildlife Poaching
Polygyny, Porn Stashes, and the Clash of Hyperobjects
Chinese Materialism and Wildlife Poaching
Polygyny, Porn Stashes, and the Clash of Hyperobjects
The Emptiness of Postmodern Art (and of its Consumers)
Hit Music: The Assault on the Brain
Walter White's Special Love for his Baby Blue
Hit Music: The Assault on the Brain
Walter White's Special Love for his Baby Blue
Woody Allen’s Curious Intellectualism
Do Americans deserve Visionary Movies? A Review of Darren Aronofsky's film "mother!"
We're the Squishy Monsters!
Manjaws
Bounties of Liberty
Coca-Cola
Sex is Ridiculous
Power and the Abuse of Language
Fools' God
Mental Health
Homelessness and the Trumpocalypse
Poems, Fictions, and Conversations
Grim_Bard Poems on Instagram
Dirge in the Undead God
Prophets of Woe
Lies and Unmaskings in an Elevator
Do Americans deserve Visionary Movies? A Review of Darren Aronofsky's film "mother!"
We're the Squishy Monsters!
Mental Health
When Madness is Normal: Sanity in the Minds of Animals and the Rise of Divine Persons
Freud and Nietzsche: Psychiatry between Existentialism and Scientism
The Curse of Reason
Freud and Nietzsche: Psychiatry between Existentialism and Scientism
The Curse of Reason
The Question of Antinatalism
Debate with YouTube Antinatalist, Inmendham
Is Infamous YouTube Pessimist "Inmendham" Hero or Villain?
The Unmasking of Misanthropy: Jordan Peterson and David Benatar on Antinatalism
Debate with YouTube Antinatalist, Inmendham
Is Infamous YouTube Pessimist "Inmendham" Hero or Villain?
The Unmasking of Misanthropy: Jordan Peterson and David Benatar on Antinatalism
Revenge of the Omega Men
Teen Angst and the Omega Mentality
Is the Cynical Intellectual a Parasite?
Rants
Teen Angst and the Omega Mentality
Is the Cynical Intellectual a Parasite?
Rants
Manjaws
Bounties of Liberty
Coca-Cola
Sex is Ridiculous
Power and the Abuse of Language
Fools' God
Mental Health
Homelessness and the Trumpocalypse
Poems, Fictions, and Conversations
Grim_Bard Poems on Instagram
Dirge in the Undead God
Prophets of Woe
Lies and Unmaskings in an Elevator
The Pointing
What Leads the Empty Suits?
Social Justice and Existential Cosmicism
Commiserating in the Undead God
Science and Aesthetic Morality
Pragmatism, Naturalized Platonism, and Freewill: A Conversation
Satirical News Reports
Man Discovers Awful Truth, Shames Mass Media
Tea Party Advocates Destruction of All of America (Except for its Golf Courses)
Wild Animals of America Party accuses Republicans of Thinking too much
Mass Murderer calls Republicans soft on Satanic Values
Polls show increased Respect for Republican Shamelessness
Republicans Deploy Demonic Microphones used by Hutus in Rwandan Massacre
Talking Points should be delivered to Empty Rooms, Politicians and Journalists Agree
Backward-Walking Politician has Limited Use of Political Platitudes
Americans Debate whether they Get Stuff Done
American Voter Turnout shrinks to Six People in 2028
"Inappropriate," the Power Elite's Ubiquitous Euphemism
Liberal Morality Emasculating, argues noted Political Pseudoscientist
Researchers discover why Republicans are Evil and Democrats are Cowards
Sole Survivor of a Flurry of Mass Shootings Opposes Firearms Regulation
Robopundit Alex Castellanos soft sells Republican Anarchism
U.S. Steps Up Iraq's Military Training by Attaching American Heads to Iraqi Bodies
American Hypocrisy Fuels Interdimensional Starship
President Trump Confined to White House, Refuses to Take Revolving Door
CIA Digs up Dirt on President Trump, Forms New Planet
Sign on Trump's Lapel Provides Running Tally of his Lies
Trump Orders Obama's Presidency be stricken from the Historical Record
President Trump attended Secret Workshops to learn how to Lie like a Politician
DNC Discovers Secret of Transformational Leadership
Comedians Replace Democrats to Oppose Psycho Clown Republicans
God condemns Conservative Bullies for Opining on Comedy
Coalition of a Hundred Countries goes to War for Regime Change in the United States
Republicans and al Qaeda face Conundrum of how to Continue their Escalating Evil
Democrats begin Impeachment Proceedings on the Grounds that Donald Trump is an Old Man
God praised for outfitting Donald Trump with Self-Destruct Button
Liberals accused of Insensitivity for mocking Mentally-Disordered President Trump
Putin contends Trump wasn't Competent enough to have Colluded with Russia
Russian Intelligence Operative reveals why Putin helped Elect Donald Trump
President Trump Murders Alt Right Conservatives, their Ghosts still Support him
The Creature of American Democracy Battered and Hunted under President Trump
World's Religious Leaders Pray for President Trump's Comeuppance, to Restore God's Good Name
Donald Trump, the Antichrist, is "Close Enough to Christ," said Evangelical Leader
President Trump's Audacity Awarded Democrats Political Immunity for Two Centuries, said Political Pseudoscientist
Open Letter to President Trump, from the Entertainment Industry
Mueller passes Ongoing Investigation to Granddaughter, years after Trump finished Second Term
Trump's Voters Smarter than Liberals, study shows
Are All Americans Guilty of Hate Crimes against President Trump?
Kleptocrat Playsets (Batteries not Included)
Democrat employs Strange Tactic in Defeating President Trump
Mueller and Trump: Partners in Crime
Robert Mueller: The Knight who Tripped over his Lance
What Crazy Nonsense will replace Trump on Mainstream News Outlets?
Consumer Protection Law Humbles Politicians and Mass Media
Tribal Antics of Canadian Question Period melt Face off of Skull
Torontonians fear Mayor Rob Ford's Scandals make their City too Interesting
Canadians urge Ukrainians to seek Peace through Dullness
Canadians Obsessed with American Politics, seek to Vote as Honourary Americans
Wall Street Banks' Financial Dealings stump the Lord Almighty
G7 Leaders remind President Trump how American Economic Imperialism works
Feudalism Reinstituted in Suckersland where One Man Owns Everything
Millionaire tricks CNN into Stopping its Coverage of Missing Malaysian Plane
Pope Francis's Superficial Christlikeness is Miraculous, Observers Say
Rush Limbaugh blasts Pope Francis and the Jesus he rode in on
Victims of Ice Storm learn Horrible True Meaning of Christmas
Cosmos Show embroiled in Legal Controversy with Churches
Christians buy "What would an Iron Age yokel do?" bracelet
Duck Dynasty and American Social Cohesion in Jeopardy, Experts Warn
Evil Industries Imitates Scientology at Trial over Fraud
Hardline Atheists Condemn Sleep and Sex as Irrational
Prophet of Doom cheated out of his Due Respect
Hotheads' Violence caused by Hot Climates, Study finds
Hope for Sufferers from Crazy Uncle Syndrome
Promise for Baldness Cure Causes Social Rifts
Man with Skin Cancer loathes Doctors, Dies without Medical Treatment
Surgeons are Heroic for facing Blood and Guts without Puking, says Surgeon
Dentists Besieged on Mock Your Dentist Day
Psychiatrists reach Opposite Conclusions about President Trump's Mental Health
Whipping set to replace Screeching in Olympic Curling
Delaware Man Masters Martial Arts, using only Initial Free Lessons
Man unable to apply a Lifetime's Research into Self-Improvement, dies wholly Unsuccessful in Life
Weed-Smoking Potlandians debate whether to Legalize Nicotine and Alcohol
United States Successfully Imprisons All its Citizens
Psychiatrists reach Opposite Conclusions about President Trump's Mental Health
Whipping set to replace Screeching in Olympic Curling
Delaware Man Masters Martial Arts, using only Initial Free Lessons
Man unable to apply a Lifetime's Research into Self-Improvement, dies wholly Unsuccessful in Life
Weed-Smoking Potlandians debate whether to Legalize Nicotine and Alcohol
United States Successfully Imprisons All its Citizens
Toy Mandibles Empower Weak-Jawed Masses
Deaf Inventor of Leaf Blower Unveils new Noisy Devices
Computer Program Translates Ordinary English into Shakespearean Verse
A Cocktail of Journalistic Insights
CNN Lobbied Oxford Dictionary to Add the Word "Russianoligarch"
Newscasters Normalize their Relations with Our Alien Overlord Tromp
CNN replaces Serious Commentary on Trump's Presidency, with Constant Laughter
News Media Confuse Viewers by speaking as if all Oligarchs are Russian
News Channel treats Politics as Theater
Mainstream News Anchor proves he understands Trump's Presidency by repeatedly Punching himself in Face
American Parents Love Guns more than their Children, study shows
Fashion Industry schemes to punish Men by turning Women into Freaks
Footnote added to the Hollywood Sign, reminding Starlets to "Expect to be Molested"
Hollywood Reboots itself, giving Creative Class power over Studio Executives and Producers
Disney Studios rooting for the Evil Empire in Future Star Wars Films, says Hollywood insider
Man Mocked for Alleging his Female Boss Sexually Assaulted him
Sexual Battle Lines drawn between Toxically Masculine Trolls and Devious Lesbian Feminists, argues Social Scientist
Woman sues Women Studies Feminists for preventing her from Sleeping her way to the Top
Documentary examines Movie Star's Reluctance to Play God
Club Punishes Talk Show Audiences for Drowning out Guests with Lingering Applause
China officially Adopts Infantilized America in 2047
Wealthy Man replaces his Sexist and Racist Thoughts with Clones to silence Critics
Homophobic Man struggles with his Fear
Man sues Porn Industry for making Sex Boring
Study shows Men secretly Resent Women's Phatness
Lonely Single Man seeks someone just to Laugh at his Jokes
Beautiful Women conceal their Hotness to attract Nice Guys
Young Woman miraculously ignores her Beauty and studies Philosophy
Uglies on the Outskirts scheme to lure Beauties away from Big Cities
Man with Tourette Syndrome Makes Fools of us all
Embittered Man Opens Shelter for Regretful Advertisers
Smart Phones Turn their Users into Assholes, Researchers say
Starving Artists call the Internet a Vast Communist Conspiracy
Last Remaining Internet Author Paid accidentally by Parakeet
Life Coach Recommends Obsessive, Idiosyncratic Behaviour to Earn Immortality by Word Coinage
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